Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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