Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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