so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
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So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
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We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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