I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have grass duct taped all over my body
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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