Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize