At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
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she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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