Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize