We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
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Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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