Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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