You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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