He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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