Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize