I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize