If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize