Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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