Jerry, you need to find god
Please, let me fuck your mom
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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