my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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