I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
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If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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