So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize