I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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