The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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