Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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