It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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