ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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