y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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