Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
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Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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