you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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