just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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