At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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