You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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