when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
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Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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