I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize