Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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