when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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