i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
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Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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