And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize