She's JV to your varsity
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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