I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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