And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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