It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize