Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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