I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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