she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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