Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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