You're so nebulous sometimes
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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