I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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