it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
