So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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