I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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