Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize